Today was one of those days when I just felt
overwhelmed. My son's eighth birthday was today and it’s the first time I
haven't had an organized party for him EVER. I knew it was coming but I just
didn't have TIME.
This seems to be the theme of my 1L life so far. Its
mid semester, we are not afforded the luxury of the undergrads (who btw don't
need it) of a fall break. We are in the process of doing some type of sadistic
hazing activity created by the law gods called the "law scavenger
hunt." Which means we are spending an additional 10-15 hours a week
searching for obscure law and materials within the massive body of Internet and
hard copy law. Which in and of itself could be kind of fun, but not when you
are already devoting 5-6 hours a day to studying.
Well I was delusional for about 2 weeks and was
like okay I’m sort of getting the hang of things its not so bad, then BOOM,
teachers starting talking crazy; by this, I mean they started scheduling
practice exams. Pump the brakes,
flag on the play, illegal shift!!!!
I ain’t gonna lie today, this week has been rough
and this morning in particular because I just wished I could have went to my
son’s school and passed out cupcakes or at least planned a little something. I
just kind of felt dislocated and guilty.
I know I am not the only one and God must have been
looking out for me, because my Contract professor spent about 30 minutes in
class giving what I like to call a “come to Jesus speech” where he gave me the
perspective that I needed to know that I have made progress and my journey is a
process.
It is just sometimes hard to see the forest because
currently I’m not even looking at trees; I’m somewhere inspecting the blades of
grass.
Anyhow, perspective is restored. No, Isaiah didn’t
get cupcakes at school, but I found a way to let him see his dad this past
weekend while they played New Orleans. I am not a horrible mom; I’m just a
busier one. I am capable of being
a lawyer and it does suck learning to be one. So let the games continue…
